There is nothing here that I can eat.
Come on I thought you would eat a salad
I looked at that salad, it is all iceberg lettuce and factory processed carrots, I need real food, not fried food and starches.
The sodium alone will make me swell up like a balloon.
Its not that bad
Just water, bottled water, please.
The thought of eating anything in here is making me ill.
You need to eat better if you want to stay healthy, fresh fruits, nuts, bright leafy greens, organic only.
Look at that girl over there, I wish I had her body, so thin.
Take me home.
©The Autobiography of Mr. Perfect, 2013